Life in Control

Last Tuesday, I experienced perhaps the worst, craziest, eye opening day of my life. I was in a car accident which not only totaled my car, but also sent me over a median and across 3 lanes of oncoming traffic. For awhile it seemed like life was in slow motion on the point of impact, then miraculously I remember sitting in my crunch car, across 3 lanes of traffic, facing the wrong direction. I was stunned.

It took me a couple days to get over the initial thoughts that go through your head, feelings of disappointment, and I still can't say I've gotten over the feeling of costing our young family financially. However, there is one pressing thought that has impacted me through this experience: how little control I had over that situation.

I keep revisiting the crash, and how I ended up in one piece across traffic. That is nothing short of God's grace and control. And I keep thinking, what could I do differently? How can I avoid a situation like this again? And you know what, I can't. I'm not in control. I consider myself a good driver, but I could be way safer. But even if I'm a good driver, that doesn't prevent car accidents. And who knows what other things could take my life even today. If nothing else, I personally encountered how helpless and not in control I am of my life.

We have no idea when or how we will leave this life. As much as we try to falsely convince ourselves through everything in this world that we are in control of our lives, we aren't, God is. You could have all the money and power in the world, and that still is not going to make you in more control than God. You could be the smartest, wisest, biblical scholar, and that's not going to make you more in control.

And yet, how many of us on a daily basis, actually live our lives with an eternal purpose. I now realize, even more than I ever did before, how short this life is. How quickly it can be snatched up. I can not waste another day to live for Christ. I pray that I never forget this experience, because I don't wanna be in cruise control. I don't want to even pretend to be in control, and most importantly, I want to give ALL I have for the sake of the Kingdom.